Sometimes I think of how to describe myself.
But I know, above all, I am a Muslim first.
And then I am the others that define who I am.
I am a junior doctor. (actually, I will be-again-soon inshaAllah).
I am also a wife. A daughter. A sister.
And the list goes on.
So I've been having a few months of break from working as a jr dr.
I was a House Officer in Leicester, UK, a place that is very close to my heart.
I worked there for a year and had the most amazing time, being a junior doctor over there. I loved it!
Circumstances changed.
And I decided to come back home for good, inshaAllah for the better.
And here I am, weeks away before restarting my career (inshaAllah) as a junior doctor. In good ol' home Malaysia.
It will be different, I know.
The setting is different.
I am different too.
In July 2011, when I started FY1 in UK, I was a fresh graduate, thriving with energy, always keen to learn.
Very excited (also nervous) to start the new job. I was single, my housemates and I lived in a house just 8 minutes walk from the hospital.
And today, I am a wife :) happily married with another jr dr Alhamdulillah.
And. I am pregnant.
Hopefully still thriving with energy and excitement and real passion to work like last time.
But again, it will be different.
The systems back home and in the UK are definitely not the same.
And hope that I can adapt quickly here.
InshaAllah :)
Friday, February 1, 2013
Let's Write Again inshaAllah
So
I have decided to write in this blog again
Hurrayy!
Hopefully this time I will keep the blog going with updates and stories. InshaAllah :)
Dont know why I have never thought of it this way before. I mean, this can easily (inshaAllah) be a source of 'income' for me right? What i mean by 'income' here really is, a source of 'pahala', wellthat is, if I use this blog to spread words of truth and words that will help myself and other people to become better people!
I remember being emotional watching a youtube video of Shah Kirit explaining about the famous issue of 'kalimah Allah'. One of his statement that touched my heart was that so many more people do not know Allah, and their akidah/tauhid/ belief in oneness of Allah is shakeable nadzubillah,, even those who are Muslims!
And I found myself asking 'What have I done to introduce who Allah really is to everyone, my family, my friends etc?' Some people are still wandering lost searching for Him, and with what little knowledge I do have, I hope to share it with the world inshaAllah.
And hopefully writing it down for others to read it will help me convey this. I sincerely hope first and foremost that it will help me become a better Muslim first inshaAllah...as I am still learning too..
Also I feel that I ought to step up my dakwah efforts a lot more. I mean, I would want to eventually get into Jannah inshaAllah. And what better way is there than to follow the Prophet's biggest sunnah ie doing dakwah?
Plus, recently I read a true and heartbreaking story of a young lady who met with an accident, she was a true mujahidah, active in spreading good words masyaAllah. And she was still thinking of her dakwah efforts up till the day she died!
So that's more than enough reasons already. Let's renew the intentions and start with..
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim for (yet) a new beginning!
Monday, December 12, 2011
My stroke patients =)
I just thought I should start writing again in this blog.
For sentimental value sake. (I know I know, I don't look like the sentimental kind of person, but I am!) Maybe one day when I am back in Malaysia, I would start reminiscing about my UK working days by reading these posts.
And also as I do seem to have more time since starting this new rotation, might as well start writing again! (which is weird as technically it should be a bit busier than the last job I did. As it is a surgical job that I'm currently doing. Oh well..)
Anyways, the last 4 months have gone past me that quickly. The stroke rotation was absolutely brilliant, and I have nothing to complain about. I think it gave me a good footing to start my career with, with the nicest and kindest and most encouraging doctors and seniors to help me out with things and to guide me through. (Plus the consultant likes to pat me on my head and says..." Little Mai!!"... or... "Young Mai!!".) Oh, missing her already!
And of course, I would sometimes get the occasional quizzes from patients or their relatives- on.. how old I really am. Oh, what a mystery. There's always the "You look too young to be a doc!" Or .."Em, are you 15? You look like you are!". :S
And as you may have guessed, I worked mostly with the elderly people in the stroke ward, and I just found them super lovely!! I love having long chats with them (when time allows of course) because they have so much life stories to tell.
There were the ones who were so positive and so strong even if they know they have only a few months to live (strangely enough, most of the most positive patients I have met so far are those who have conditions with not-so-good prognosis . Eg patients with brain tumor/mets). And I would just sit there, listening to them tell their stories, inspired by the hope and the strong will inside of them. Somehow, it also made me reflect on myself. Here I am, young, all fit and well (Alhamdulillah), but have I done enough to inspire others? Have I done things that can change the world to make it a better place? Hmm.. :(
And then there were the patients who were always feeling low and really need that kick of motivation everyday to keep them going ;p. So I would just start knocking on their door, asking them how they were, and when they said they felt down or sad I would try to think of something that hopefully will make them feel better. Something along the lines of... "C'mon pakcik! You can do it! Just gotta hang in there and be strong, ok?".. or.. "Be patient pakcik, you will improve but it does takes time okay? ok? " That sounds as if I'm speaking to a pakcik Melayu, but you know what I mean ;p
All in all, I think I have enjoyed becoming a doctor (so far at least. never know what the future will hold. gulp.). It was definitely a long 5 years of training at medical school and it was especially tough during the final year, but it was all worth it in the end I think. Alhamdulillah. (So to any final yr meds reading this, just hang in there and you will get there very very soon inshaAllah)
To see unwell patients get better each day is such a rewarding experience; and then they would say "thank you" to you with such sincerity as if it was you who had somehow magically make them better. But wait. It is not us doctors who had make you better, pakciks... but it is definitely Allah with His upmost Mercy and Love towards His beloved creatures, who had willed the recovery of patients and their well being. How Merciful Allah is towards us~ He who heals us from any illness. He who has given us bountiful provision more than we ever need.
As Prophet Ibrahim has said in Surah Assyuara 77-82.
"... the Lord of the worlds, Who created me, and who guides me, And Who feeds me and gives me drink, And when I become sick, He heals me, And who will make me die, then will give me life, And who, I hope, will forgive my fault on the Day of Retribution...".
MasyaAllah~
Narrated Abu Huraira:" I heard Allah's Apostle saying, Allah divided Mercy into one-hundred parts and He kept its ninety nine parts with Him and sent down its one part on the earth, and because of that, its one single part, His creations are Merciful to each other,(have a look at this cute video ) so that even the mare lifts up its hoofs away from its baby animal, lest it should trample on it." (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 29)"
Lastly, let's take some time to reflect on His love towards us.
And ask ourselves...have we love Him more than anything or anyone else in this world?
More than we love our dear parents, our siblings, or even (y)our significant others?
Have we reciprocate our love to the One who gives love in the first place?
Salam wbt
For sentimental value sake. (I know I know, I don't look like the sentimental kind of person, but I am!) Maybe one day when I am back in Malaysia, I would start reminiscing about my UK working days by reading these posts.
And also as I do seem to have more time since starting this new rotation, might as well start writing again! (which is weird as technically it should be a bit busier than the last job I did. As it is a surgical job that I'm currently doing. Oh well..)
Anyways, the last 4 months have gone past me that quickly. The stroke rotation was absolutely brilliant, and I have nothing to complain about. I think it gave me a good footing to start my career with, with the nicest and kindest and most encouraging doctors and seniors to help me out with things and to guide me through. (Plus the consultant likes to pat me on my head and says..." Little Mai!!"... or... "Young Mai!!".) Oh, missing her already!
And of course, I would sometimes get the occasional quizzes from patients or their relatives- on.. how old I really am. Oh, what a mystery. There's always the "You look too young to be a doc!" Or .."Em, are you 15? You look like you are!". :S
And as you may have guessed, I worked mostly with the elderly people in the stroke ward, and I just found them super lovely!! I love having long chats with them (when time allows of course) because they have so much life stories to tell.
There were the ones who were so positive and so strong even if they know they have only a few months to live (strangely enough, most of the most positive patients I have met so far are those who have conditions with not-so-good prognosis . Eg patients with brain tumor/mets). And I would just sit there, listening to them tell their stories, inspired by the hope and the strong will inside of them. Somehow, it also made me reflect on myself. Here I am, young, all fit and well (Alhamdulillah), but have I done enough to inspire others? Have I done things that can change the world to make it a better place? Hmm.. :(
And then there were the patients who were always feeling low and really need that kick of motivation everyday to keep them going ;p. So I would just start knocking on their door, asking them how they were, and when they said they felt down or sad I would try to think of something that hopefully will make them feel better. Something along the lines of... "C'mon pakcik! You can do it! Just gotta hang in there and be strong, ok?".. or.. "Be patient pakcik, you will improve but it does takes time okay? ok? " That sounds as if I'm speaking to a pakcik Melayu, but you know what I mean ;p
All in all, I think I have enjoyed becoming a doctor (so far at least. never know what the future will hold. gulp.). It was definitely a long 5 years of training at medical school and it was especially tough during the final year, but it was all worth it in the end I think. Alhamdulillah. (So to any final yr meds reading this, just hang in there and you will get there very very soon inshaAllah)
To see unwell patients get better each day is such a rewarding experience; and then they would say "thank you" to you with such sincerity as if it was you who had somehow magically make them better. But wait. It is not us doctors who had make you better, pakciks... but it is definitely Allah with His upmost Mercy and Love towards His beloved creatures, who had willed the recovery of patients and their well being. How Merciful Allah is towards us~ He who heals us from any illness. He who has given us bountiful provision more than we ever need.
As Prophet Ibrahim has said in Surah Assyuara 77-82.
"... the Lord of the worlds, Who created me, and who guides me, And Who feeds me and gives me drink, And when I become sick, He heals me, And who will make me die, then will give me life, And who, I hope, will forgive my fault on the Day of Retribution...".
MasyaAllah~
Narrated Abu Huraira:" I heard Allah's Apostle saying, Allah divided Mercy into one-hundred parts and He kept its ninety nine parts with Him and sent down its one part on the earth, and because of that, its one single part, His creations are Merciful to each other,(have a look at this cute video ) so that even the mare lifts up its hoofs away from its baby animal, lest it should trample on it." (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 29)"
Lastly, let's take some time to reflect on His love towards us.
And ask ourselves...have we love Him more than anything or anyone else in this world?
More than we love our dear parents, our siblings, or even (y)our significant others?
Have we reciprocate our love to the One who gives love in the first place?
Salam wbt
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Blog till you drop =)
I actually have mixed feelings about having a blog and writing my heart out in this space. Hence the reason why this blog is more often than not been left unattended and has been quiet for some time. (OK, probably that's just me giving more excuses and justifying my laziness in writing. Heh.)
I mean, who would actually care to read about what I have been up to, how my life has been etcetera2? I'm not really a well known person who would have followers wanting to know my whereabouts and updates every so often ;p
But then again, on the other side, writing is therapeutic for the soul, I think. It gives a sense of freedom to express things however and in any way that I like. Which is good :)
So then the next big question: Why and what should I write about?
I should not forget this: If I do anything, it should be for a purpose. And what better purpose is there than to do anything and everything for the sake of Allah? Can get tonnes of pahala and rewards just by having the right intention!~
And I have been blog-hopping recently and landed on many blogs by ikhwah/akhawats and friends (huu..stalking?) which many of them, I found so inspiring. Simple reminders maybe, but they meant a lot. They have so many things to share: knowledge, experience, tazkirah and much more.
And then, I realize that I too have a lot of things I'd love to share with people. As imparting knowledge and experience will not only enrich the one who receives them, but more so to the one who gives them. Just like doing usrah: by presenting a topic, I think we actually benefit and gain more by giving than just becoming the listeners (but of course may Allah gives rewards to all :) )
And my favourite quote on writing for the sake of Allah, especially to spread His noble words and Islam. By Salim A Fillah, an indonesion author:
Lastly these are the things that I'd like to share in the near future if time permits.
And I end this by a reminder for myself first before others:
Salam wbt
I mean, who would actually care to read about what I have been up to, how my life has been etcetera2? I'm not really a well known person who would have followers wanting to know my whereabouts and updates every so often ;p
But then again, on the other side, writing is therapeutic for the soul, I think. It gives a sense of freedom to express things however and in any way that I like. Which is good :)
So then the next big question: Why and what should I write about?
I should not forget this: If I do anything, it should be for a purpose. And what better purpose is there than to do anything and everything for the sake of Allah? Can get tonnes of pahala and rewards just by having the right intention!~
And I have been blog-hopping recently and landed on many blogs by ikhwah/akhawats and friends (huu..stalking?) which many of them, I found so inspiring. Simple reminders maybe, but they meant a lot. They have so many things to share: knowledge, experience, tazkirah and much more.
And then, I realize that I too have a lot of things I'd love to share with people. As imparting knowledge and experience will not only enrich the one who receives them, but more so to the one who gives them. Just like doing usrah: by presenting a topic, I think we actually benefit and gain more by giving than just becoming the listeners (but of course may Allah gives rewards to all :) )
And my favourite quote on writing for the sake of Allah, especially to spread His noble words and Islam. By Salim A Fillah, an indonesion author:
"Yang paling menjadi impian saya sebagai penulis adalah ketika kelak kita terkejut di hadapan Allah. Saat Allah berikan catatan amal kita, lalu kita bertanya, “Ya Allah, bukankah amal shalihku tak sebanyak ini?” Kemudian Allah berfirman, “Ya, kau benar. Tetapi itulah pahala dari orang-orang yang beramal setelah membaca apa yang kau tulis, berrantai-rantai ditambahkan kepadamu sebagai sunnah kebaikan yang kau tebarkan, menjadi ganjaran kebaikan yang tak henti mengalir bagimu!”
Lastly these are the things that I'd like to share in the near future if time permits.
- Productive Muslim seminar that I attended not so long ago-which was Excellent-o!
- Summer Training Camp UK by IKRAM Uk- which was great too!
- My graduation day and life as a medic so far [n.e.r.ddd]
- my little nephew Adel =)
And I end this by a reminder for myself first before others:
The Prophet said, "Actions of the son Adam cease upon death, except for three:
-a righteous son
-continuous charity
-useful knowledge
Salam wbt
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
The comellest ever
(Ok i'm actually testing this app that i just downloaded on my Ipod touch and trying to find out if this will work)
Salammm
I'm in London now, chilling at my bro's place and my parents are here as well. And my favourite nephew is here as well so that adds to the excitement (err he's my one n only nephew by the way).
And he is oh-so-cuteeee. He's cute when he smiles, when he laughs , when he sleeps, even when he is crying and screaming! Ok so there you go, one very obsessed aunty who cant stop picit-ing his nose and kissing his cheeks.
But really, he makes everyone around him so happy. The opah and tok (ie my parents) who just recently came from Malaysia cant get enough of him too. And his proud parents (my bro and sis in law) are always so happy tending to him, caring for his needs and playing him all the time.
So Adel happy first bday and may Allah bless your life now and forever. Be a good obedient son to your parents and stay cute!
Salammm
I'm in London now, chilling at my bro's place and my parents are here as well. And my favourite nephew is here as well so that adds to the excitement (err he's my one n only nephew by the way).
And he is oh-so-cuteeee. He's cute when he smiles, when he laughs , when he sleeps, even when he is crying and screaming! Ok so there you go, one very obsessed aunty who cant stop picit-ing his nose and kissing his cheeks.
But really, he makes everyone around him so happy. The opah and tok (ie my parents) who just recently came from Malaysia cant get enough of him too. And his proud parents (my bro and sis in law) are always so happy tending to him, caring for his needs and playing him all the time.
So Adel happy first bday and may Allah bless your life now and forever. Be a good obedient son to your parents and stay cute!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Terharu ;)
It's been 3 weeks already and I have finished half of my electives, in a private hospital in Ipoh.
I was a bit terharu and all when leaving the hospital this afternoon, as all the friendly staff that I have been working with in clinics and wards were so nice and wished me all the best. The doctors that I was attached to was lovely too, they even had nice comments for my feedback form.... Things like 'pleasant personality' and 'diligent' (! ;) ) and 'no doubt she will be a good doctor in the future'.. I was like...auwww really??.. I hope the doctors were honest when they wrote them hihi
Anyways, that's besides the point. Alhamdulillah, overall it was a good attachment. I learnt a lot, not just of medicine, but of other things too, like real working life, religion faith and da'wah, and so much more. I wish to write these things down to make sure I don't forget these things when time passes. I'll write them in a few parts, insyaAllah :-)
I was a bit terharu and all when leaving the hospital this afternoon, as all the friendly staff that I have been working with in clinics and wards were so nice and wished me all the best. The doctors that I was attached to was lovely too, they even had nice comments for my feedback form.... Things like 'pleasant personality' and 'diligent' (! ;) ) and 'no doubt she will be a good doctor in the future'.. I was like...auwww really??.. I hope the doctors were honest when they wrote them hihi
Anyways, that's besides the point. Alhamdulillah, overall it was a good attachment. I learnt a lot, not just of medicine, but of other things too, like real working life, religion faith and da'wah, and so much more. I wish to write these things down to make sure I don't forget these things when time passes. I'll write them in a few parts, insyaAllah :-)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Day 1 in Neurology Attachment
Few things to take note from first day of electives for future reference :)
1. Let's learn and practice our Malay medical vocab ! New vocabs of the day are words like:
2. Gotta be a multilingual doctor if you are in this country!
The consultant that I was attached to amazed me when he started to speak very fluent Cantonese with one of the Chinese patients. And I was left wondering what on earth were they talking about! Even in UK, I never really have that much difficulty in understanding language (alhamdulillah) and then hey-ho, suddenly in my own country I can't understand a single thing of what they were talking about!
And then the next patient who came in was an Indian, and then he started to speak Hindi with him. My jaw dropped again.
I think he's a really good doctor, with excellent communication skills. He really knows how to win his patients' hearts, like for example when he is with the elderly it really shows that he respects them; with some patient he uses 'loghat utara', with some he uses 'perak slang' etc etc.
And as a result, all the patients love him! You can see how they totally open up to him, and would tell them all their problems without worrying that he would judge them etc..
OK, I think those are really good tips for future doctors. And I guess that's why the medical school keep on hammering on us "communication skill , communication skills, communication skills!!". Because it is really very very important!
3. Plan your career and life!
The consultant is a Malay doctor who had completed his degree in Malaysia and then went over to the UK to specialise in his specialty. You can see that he is very much determined with his career and life and knows what he wants in life.
He told me that he planned his career well in advance, knows which examination he is going to take and what time, and wala-by 1990 he is already a Specialist. Like for example, he was even studying when he was doing houseman to sit for the exams while his other friends have not yet had any plan in mind.
OK, I'll start planning my career then too.. MRCPCH ? InshaAllah..
4. A few things to share that I saw yesterday include:
That's all to share today! Congrats to my consultant cos..he's going to get the Dato' title today from the Sultan! (It's the Sultan's bday today and he gives all those awards every year during his birthday)
Salamm
1. Let's learn and practice our Malay medical vocab ! New vocabs of the day are words like:
- Libang libu=anxiety neurosis
- Badan rasa Ceren ceren =i dunno..badan does not feel so good?
- Perut sebu
Plus a few exchanged with friends also doing elective in Msia:
- Kaki rasa asam2 = kaki kebas2
2. Gotta be a multilingual doctor if you are in this country!
The consultant that I was attached to amazed me when he started to speak very fluent Cantonese with one of the Chinese patients. And I was left wondering what on earth were they talking about! Even in UK, I never really have that much difficulty in understanding language (alhamdulillah) and then hey-ho, suddenly in my own country I can't understand a single thing of what they were talking about!
And then the next patient who came in was an Indian, and then he started to speak Hindi with him. My jaw dropped again.
I think he's a really good doctor, with excellent communication skills. He really knows how to win his patients' hearts, like for example when he is with the elderly it really shows that he respects them; with some patient he uses 'loghat utara', with some he uses 'perak slang' etc etc.
And as a result, all the patients love him! You can see how they totally open up to him, and would tell them all their problems without worrying that he would judge them etc..
OK, I think those are really good tips for future doctors. And I guess that's why the medical school keep on hammering on us "communication skill , communication skills, communication skills!!". Because it is really very very important!
3. Plan your career and life!
The consultant is a Malay doctor who had completed his degree in Malaysia and then went over to the UK to specialise in his specialty. You can see that he is very much determined with his career and life and knows what he wants in life.
He told me that he planned his career well in advance, knows which examination he is going to take and what time, and wala-by 1990 he is already a Specialist. Like for example, he was even studying when he was doing houseman to sit for the exams while his other friends have not yet had any plan in mind.
OK, I'll start planning my career then too.. MRCPCH ? InshaAllah..
4. A few things to share that I saw yesterday include:
- another man with expressive and receptive dysphasia!
- a man with raccoon eyes!!
- a kid with 'sakit buah pinggang' and ''darah tinggi'..He actually has nephrotic syndrome
That's all to share today! Congrats to my consultant cos..he's going to get the Dato' title today from the Sultan! (It's the Sultan's bday today and he gives all those awards every year during his birthday)
Salamm
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