Sometimes I think of how to describe myself.
But I know, above all, I am a Muslim first.
And then I am the others that define who I am.
I am a junior doctor. (actually, I will be-again-soon inshaAllah).
I am also a wife. A daughter. A sister.
And the list goes on.
So I've been having a few months of break from working as a jr dr.
I was a House Officer in Leicester, UK, a place that is very close to my heart.
I worked there for a year and had the most amazing time, being a junior doctor over there. I loved it!
Circumstances changed.
And I decided to come back home for good, inshaAllah for the better.
And here I am, weeks away before restarting my career (inshaAllah) as a junior doctor. In good ol' home Malaysia.
It will be different, I know.
The setting is different.
I am different too.
In July 2011, when I started FY1 in UK, I was a fresh graduate, thriving with energy, always keen to learn.
Very excited (also nervous) to start the new job. I was single, my housemates and I lived in a house just 8 minutes walk from the hospital.
And today, I am a wife :) happily married with another jr dr Alhamdulillah.
And. I am pregnant.
Hopefully still thriving with energy and excitement and real passion to work like last time.
But again, it will be different.
The systems back home and in the UK are definitely not the same.
And hope that I can adapt quickly here.
InshaAllah :)
Friday, February 1, 2013
Let's Write Again inshaAllah
So
I have decided to write in this blog again
Hurrayy!
Hopefully this time I will keep the blog going with updates and stories. InshaAllah :)
Dont know why I have never thought of it this way before. I mean, this can easily (inshaAllah) be a source of 'income' for me right? What i mean by 'income' here really is, a source of 'pahala', wellthat is, if I use this blog to spread words of truth and words that will help myself and other people to become better people!
I remember being emotional watching a youtube video of Shah Kirit explaining about the famous issue of 'kalimah Allah'. One of his statement that touched my heart was that so many more people do not know Allah, and their akidah/tauhid/ belief in oneness of Allah is shakeable nadzubillah,, even those who are Muslims!
And I found myself asking 'What have I done to introduce who Allah really is to everyone, my family, my friends etc?' Some people are still wandering lost searching for Him, and with what little knowledge I do have, I hope to share it with the world inshaAllah.
And hopefully writing it down for others to read it will help me convey this. I sincerely hope first and foremost that it will help me become a better Muslim first inshaAllah...as I am still learning too..
Also I feel that I ought to step up my dakwah efforts a lot more. I mean, I would want to eventually get into Jannah inshaAllah. And what better way is there than to follow the Prophet's biggest sunnah ie doing dakwah?
Plus, recently I read a true and heartbreaking story of a young lady who met with an accident, she was a true mujahidah, active in spreading good words masyaAllah. And she was still thinking of her dakwah efforts up till the day she died!
So that's more than enough reasons already. Let's renew the intentions and start with..
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim for (yet) a new beginning!
Monday, December 12, 2011
My stroke patients =)
I just thought I should start writing again in this blog.
For sentimental value sake. (I know I know, I don't look like the sentimental kind of person, but I am!) Maybe one day when I am back in Malaysia, I would start reminiscing about my UK working days by reading these posts.
And also as I do seem to have more time since starting this new rotation, might as well start writing again! (which is weird as technically it should be a bit busier than the last job I did. As it is a surgical job that I'm currently doing. Oh well..)
Anyways, the last 4 months have gone past me that quickly. The stroke rotation was absolutely brilliant, and I have nothing to complain about. I think it gave me a good footing to start my career with, with the nicest and kindest and most encouraging doctors and seniors to help me out with things and to guide me through. (Plus the consultant likes to pat me on my head and says..." Little Mai!!"... or... "Young Mai!!".) Oh, missing her already!
And of course, I would sometimes get the occasional quizzes from patients or their relatives- on.. how old I really am. Oh, what a mystery. There's always the "You look too young to be a doc!" Or .."Em, are you 15? You look like you are!". :S
And as you may have guessed, I worked mostly with the elderly people in the stroke ward, and I just found them super lovely!! I love having long chats with them (when time allows of course) because they have so much life stories to tell.
There were the ones who were so positive and so strong even if they know they have only a few months to live (strangely enough, most of the most positive patients I have met so far are those who have conditions with not-so-good prognosis . Eg patients with brain tumor/mets). And I would just sit there, listening to them tell their stories, inspired by the hope and the strong will inside of them. Somehow, it also made me reflect on myself. Here I am, young, all fit and well (Alhamdulillah), but have I done enough to inspire others? Have I done things that can change the world to make it a better place? Hmm.. :(
And then there were the patients who were always feeling low and really need that kick of motivation everyday to keep them going ;p. So I would just start knocking on their door, asking them how they were, and when they said they felt down or sad I would try to think of something that hopefully will make them feel better. Something along the lines of... "C'mon pakcik! You can do it! Just gotta hang in there and be strong, ok?".. or.. "Be patient pakcik, you will improve but it does takes time okay? ok? " That sounds as if I'm speaking to a pakcik Melayu, but you know what I mean ;p
All in all, I think I have enjoyed becoming a doctor (so far at least. never know what the future will hold. gulp.). It was definitely a long 5 years of training at medical school and it was especially tough during the final year, but it was all worth it in the end I think. Alhamdulillah. (So to any final yr meds reading this, just hang in there and you will get there very very soon inshaAllah)
To see unwell patients get better each day is such a rewarding experience; and then they would say "thank you" to you with such sincerity as if it was you who had somehow magically make them better. But wait. It is not us doctors who had make you better, pakciks... but it is definitely Allah with His upmost Mercy and Love towards His beloved creatures, who had willed the recovery of patients and their well being. How Merciful Allah is towards us~ He who heals us from any illness. He who has given us bountiful provision more than we ever need.
As Prophet Ibrahim has said in Surah Assyuara 77-82.
"... the Lord of the worlds, Who created me, and who guides me, And Who feeds me and gives me drink, And when I become sick, He heals me, And who will make me die, then will give me life, And who, I hope, will forgive my fault on the Day of Retribution...".
MasyaAllah~
Narrated Abu Huraira:" I heard Allah's Apostle saying, Allah divided Mercy into one-hundred parts and He kept its ninety nine parts with Him and sent down its one part on the earth, and because of that, its one single part, His creations are Merciful to each other,(have a look at this cute video ) so that even the mare lifts up its hoofs away from its baby animal, lest it should trample on it." (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 29)"
Lastly, let's take some time to reflect on His love towards us.
And ask ourselves...have we love Him more than anything or anyone else in this world?
More than we love our dear parents, our siblings, or even (y)our significant others?
Have we reciprocate our love to the One who gives love in the first place?
Salam wbt
For sentimental value sake. (I know I know, I don't look like the sentimental kind of person, but I am!) Maybe one day when I am back in Malaysia, I would start reminiscing about my UK working days by reading these posts.
And also as I do seem to have more time since starting this new rotation, might as well start writing again! (which is weird as technically it should be a bit busier than the last job I did. As it is a surgical job that I'm currently doing. Oh well..)
Anyways, the last 4 months have gone past me that quickly. The stroke rotation was absolutely brilliant, and I have nothing to complain about. I think it gave me a good footing to start my career with, with the nicest and kindest and most encouraging doctors and seniors to help me out with things and to guide me through. (Plus the consultant likes to pat me on my head and says..." Little Mai!!"... or... "Young Mai!!".) Oh, missing her already!
And of course, I would sometimes get the occasional quizzes from patients or their relatives- on.. how old I really am. Oh, what a mystery. There's always the "You look too young to be a doc!" Or .."Em, are you 15? You look like you are!". :S
And as you may have guessed, I worked mostly with the elderly people in the stroke ward, and I just found them super lovely!! I love having long chats with them (when time allows of course) because they have so much life stories to tell.
There were the ones who were so positive and so strong even if they know they have only a few months to live (strangely enough, most of the most positive patients I have met so far are those who have conditions with not-so-good prognosis . Eg patients with brain tumor/mets). And I would just sit there, listening to them tell their stories, inspired by the hope and the strong will inside of them. Somehow, it also made me reflect on myself. Here I am, young, all fit and well (Alhamdulillah), but have I done enough to inspire others? Have I done things that can change the world to make it a better place? Hmm.. :(
And then there were the patients who were always feeling low and really need that kick of motivation everyday to keep them going ;p. So I would just start knocking on their door, asking them how they were, and when they said they felt down or sad I would try to think of something that hopefully will make them feel better. Something along the lines of... "C'mon pakcik! You can do it! Just gotta hang in there and be strong, ok?".. or.. "Be patient pakcik, you will improve but it does takes time okay? ok? " That sounds as if I'm speaking to a pakcik Melayu, but you know what I mean ;p
All in all, I think I have enjoyed becoming a doctor (so far at least. never know what the future will hold. gulp.). It was definitely a long 5 years of training at medical school and it was especially tough during the final year, but it was all worth it in the end I think. Alhamdulillah. (So to any final yr meds reading this, just hang in there and you will get there very very soon inshaAllah)
To see unwell patients get better each day is such a rewarding experience; and then they would say "thank you" to you with such sincerity as if it was you who had somehow magically make them better. But wait. It is not us doctors who had make you better, pakciks... but it is definitely Allah with His upmost Mercy and Love towards His beloved creatures, who had willed the recovery of patients and their well being. How Merciful Allah is towards us~ He who heals us from any illness. He who has given us bountiful provision more than we ever need.
As Prophet Ibrahim has said in Surah Assyuara 77-82.
"... the Lord of the worlds, Who created me, and who guides me, And Who feeds me and gives me drink, And when I become sick, He heals me, And who will make me die, then will give me life, And who, I hope, will forgive my fault on the Day of Retribution...".
MasyaAllah~
Narrated Abu Huraira:" I heard Allah's Apostle saying, Allah divided Mercy into one-hundred parts and He kept its ninety nine parts with Him and sent down its one part on the earth, and because of that, its one single part, His creations are Merciful to each other,(have a look at this cute video ) so that even the mare lifts up its hoofs away from its baby animal, lest it should trample on it." (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 29)"
Lastly, let's take some time to reflect on His love towards us.
And ask ourselves...have we love Him more than anything or anyone else in this world?
More than we love our dear parents, our siblings, or even (y)our significant others?
Have we reciprocate our love to the One who gives love in the first place?
Salam wbt
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Blog till you drop =)
I actually have mixed feelings about having a blog and writing my heart out in this space. Hence the reason why this blog is more often than not been left unattended and has been quiet for some time. (OK, probably that's just me giving more excuses and justifying my laziness in writing. Heh.)
I mean, who would actually care to read about what I have been up to, how my life has been etcetera2? I'm not really a well known person who would have followers wanting to know my whereabouts and updates every so often ;p
But then again, on the other side, writing is therapeutic for the soul, I think. It gives a sense of freedom to express things however and in any way that I like. Which is good :)
So then the next big question: Why and what should I write about?
I should not forget this: If I do anything, it should be for a purpose. And what better purpose is there than to do anything and everything for the sake of Allah? Can get tonnes of pahala and rewards just by having the right intention!~
And I have been blog-hopping recently and landed on many blogs by ikhwah/akhawats and friends (huu..stalking?) which many of them, I found so inspiring. Simple reminders maybe, but they meant a lot. They have so many things to share: knowledge, experience, tazkirah and much more.
And then, I realize that I too have a lot of things I'd love to share with people. As imparting knowledge and experience will not only enrich the one who receives them, but more so to the one who gives them. Just like doing usrah: by presenting a topic, I think we actually benefit and gain more by giving than just becoming the listeners (but of course may Allah gives rewards to all :) )
And my favourite quote on writing for the sake of Allah, especially to spread His noble words and Islam. By Salim A Fillah, an indonesion author:
Lastly these are the things that I'd like to share in the near future if time permits.
And I end this by a reminder for myself first before others:
Salam wbt
I mean, who would actually care to read about what I have been up to, how my life has been etcetera2? I'm not really a well known person who would have followers wanting to know my whereabouts and updates every so often ;p
But then again, on the other side, writing is therapeutic for the soul, I think. It gives a sense of freedom to express things however and in any way that I like. Which is good :)
So then the next big question: Why and what should I write about?
I should not forget this: If I do anything, it should be for a purpose. And what better purpose is there than to do anything and everything for the sake of Allah? Can get tonnes of pahala and rewards just by having the right intention!~
And I have been blog-hopping recently and landed on many blogs by ikhwah/akhawats and friends (huu..stalking?) which many of them, I found so inspiring. Simple reminders maybe, but they meant a lot. They have so many things to share: knowledge, experience, tazkirah and much more.
And then, I realize that I too have a lot of things I'd love to share with people. As imparting knowledge and experience will not only enrich the one who receives them, but more so to the one who gives them. Just like doing usrah: by presenting a topic, I think we actually benefit and gain more by giving than just becoming the listeners (but of course may Allah gives rewards to all :) )
And my favourite quote on writing for the sake of Allah, especially to spread His noble words and Islam. By Salim A Fillah, an indonesion author:
"Yang paling menjadi impian saya sebagai penulis adalah ketika kelak kita terkejut di hadapan Allah. Saat Allah berikan catatan amal kita, lalu kita bertanya, “Ya Allah, bukankah amal shalihku tak sebanyak ini?” Kemudian Allah berfirman, “Ya, kau benar. Tetapi itulah pahala dari orang-orang yang beramal setelah membaca apa yang kau tulis, berrantai-rantai ditambahkan kepadamu sebagai sunnah kebaikan yang kau tebarkan, menjadi ganjaran kebaikan yang tak henti mengalir bagimu!”
Lastly these are the things that I'd like to share in the near future if time permits.
- Productive Muslim seminar that I attended not so long ago-which was Excellent-o!
- Summer Training Camp UK by IKRAM Uk- which was great too!
- My graduation day and life as a medic so far [n.e.r.ddd]
- my little nephew Adel =)
And I end this by a reminder for myself first before others:
The Prophet said, "Actions of the son Adam cease upon death, except for three:
-a righteous son
-continuous charity
-useful knowledge
Salam wbt
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
The comellest ever
(Ok i'm actually testing this app that i just downloaded on my Ipod touch and trying to find out if this will work)
Salammm
I'm in London now, chilling at my bro's place and my parents are here as well. And my favourite nephew is here as well so that adds to the excitement (err he's my one n only nephew by the way).
And he is oh-so-cuteeee. He's cute when he smiles, when he laughs , when he sleeps, even when he is crying and screaming! Ok so there you go, one very obsessed aunty who cant stop picit-ing his nose and kissing his cheeks.
But really, he makes everyone around him so happy. The opah and tok (ie my parents) who just recently came from Malaysia cant get enough of him too. And his proud parents (my bro and sis in law) are always so happy tending to him, caring for his needs and playing him all the time.
So Adel happy first bday and may Allah bless your life now and forever. Be a good obedient son to your parents and stay cute!
Salammm
I'm in London now, chilling at my bro's place and my parents are here as well. And my favourite nephew is here as well so that adds to the excitement (err he's my one n only nephew by the way).
And he is oh-so-cuteeee. He's cute when he smiles, when he laughs , when he sleeps, even when he is crying and screaming! Ok so there you go, one very obsessed aunty who cant stop picit-ing his nose and kissing his cheeks.
But really, he makes everyone around him so happy. The opah and tok (ie my parents) who just recently came from Malaysia cant get enough of him too. And his proud parents (my bro and sis in law) are always so happy tending to him, caring for his needs and playing him all the time.
So Adel happy first bday and may Allah bless your life now and forever. Be a good obedient son to your parents and stay cute!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Terharu ;)
It's been 3 weeks already and I have finished half of my electives, in a private hospital in Ipoh.
I was a bit terharu and all when leaving the hospital this afternoon, as all the friendly staff that I have been working with in clinics and wards were so nice and wished me all the best. The doctors that I was attached to was lovely too, they even had nice comments for my feedback form.... Things like 'pleasant personality' and 'diligent' (! ;) ) and 'no doubt she will be a good doctor in the future'.. I was like...auwww really??.. I hope the doctors were honest when they wrote them hihi
Anyways, that's besides the point. Alhamdulillah, overall it was a good attachment. I learnt a lot, not just of medicine, but of other things too, like real working life, religion faith and da'wah, and so much more. I wish to write these things down to make sure I don't forget these things when time passes. I'll write them in a few parts, insyaAllah :-)
I was a bit terharu and all when leaving the hospital this afternoon, as all the friendly staff that I have been working with in clinics and wards were so nice and wished me all the best. The doctors that I was attached to was lovely too, they even had nice comments for my feedback form.... Things like 'pleasant personality' and 'diligent' (! ;) ) and 'no doubt she will be a good doctor in the future'.. I was like...auwww really??.. I hope the doctors were honest when they wrote them hihi
Anyways, that's besides the point. Alhamdulillah, overall it was a good attachment. I learnt a lot, not just of medicine, but of other things too, like real working life, religion faith and da'wah, and so much more. I wish to write these things down to make sure I don't forget these things when time passes. I'll write them in a few parts, insyaAllah :-)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Day 1 in Neurology Attachment
Few things to take note from first day of electives for future reference :)
1. Let's learn and practice our Malay medical vocab ! New vocabs of the day are words like:
2. Gotta be a multilingual doctor if you are in this country!
The consultant that I was attached to amazed me when he started to speak very fluent Cantonese with one of the Chinese patients. And I was left wondering what on earth were they talking about! Even in UK, I never really have that much difficulty in understanding language (alhamdulillah) and then hey-ho, suddenly in my own country I can't understand a single thing of what they were talking about!
And then the next patient who came in was an Indian, and then he started to speak Hindi with him. My jaw dropped again.
I think he's a really good doctor, with excellent communication skills. He really knows how to win his patients' hearts, like for example when he is with the elderly it really shows that he respects them; with some patient he uses 'loghat utara', with some he uses 'perak slang' etc etc.
And as a result, all the patients love him! You can see how they totally open up to him, and would tell them all their problems without worrying that he would judge them etc..
OK, I think those are really good tips for future doctors. And I guess that's why the medical school keep on hammering on us "communication skill , communication skills, communication skills!!". Because it is really very very important!
3. Plan your career and life!
The consultant is a Malay doctor who had completed his degree in Malaysia and then went over to the UK to specialise in his specialty. You can see that he is very much determined with his career and life and knows what he wants in life.
He told me that he planned his career well in advance, knows which examination he is going to take and what time, and wala-by 1990 he is already a Specialist. Like for example, he was even studying when he was doing houseman to sit for the exams while his other friends have not yet had any plan in mind.
OK, I'll start planning my career then too.. MRCPCH ? InshaAllah..
4. A few things to share that I saw yesterday include:
That's all to share today! Congrats to my consultant cos..he's going to get the Dato' title today from the Sultan! (It's the Sultan's bday today and he gives all those awards every year during his birthday)
Salamm
1. Let's learn and practice our Malay medical vocab ! New vocabs of the day are words like:
- Libang libu=anxiety neurosis
- Badan rasa Ceren ceren =i dunno..badan does not feel so good?
- Perut sebu
Plus a few exchanged with friends also doing elective in Msia:
- Kaki rasa asam2 = kaki kebas2
2. Gotta be a multilingual doctor if you are in this country!
The consultant that I was attached to amazed me when he started to speak very fluent Cantonese with one of the Chinese patients. And I was left wondering what on earth were they talking about! Even in UK, I never really have that much difficulty in understanding language (alhamdulillah) and then hey-ho, suddenly in my own country I can't understand a single thing of what they were talking about!
And then the next patient who came in was an Indian, and then he started to speak Hindi with him. My jaw dropped again.
I think he's a really good doctor, with excellent communication skills. He really knows how to win his patients' hearts, like for example when he is with the elderly it really shows that he respects them; with some patient he uses 'loghat utara', with some he uses 'perak slang' etc etc.
And as a result, all the patients love him! You can see how they totally open up to him, and would tell them all their problems without worrying that he would judge them etc..
OK, I think those are really good tips for future doctors. And I guess that's why the medical school keep on hammering on us "communication skill , communication skills, communication skills!!". Because it is really very very important!
3. Plan your career and life!
The consultant is a Malay doctor who had completed his degree in Malaysia and then went over to the UK to specialise in his specialty. You can see that he is very much determined with his career and life and knows what he wants in life.
He told me that he planned his career well in advance, knows which examination he is going to take and what time, and wala-by 1990 he is already a Specialist. Like for example, he was even studying when he was doing houseman to sit for the exams while his other friends have not yet had any plan in mind.
OK, I'll start planning my career then too.. MRCPCH ? InshaAllah..
4. A few things to share that I saw yesterday include:
- another man with expressive and receptive dysphasia!
- a man with raccoon eyes!!
- a kid with 'sakit buah pinggang' and ''darah tinggi'..He actually has nephrotic syndrome
That's all to share today! Congrats to my consultant cos..he's going to get the Dato' title today from the Sultan! (It's the Sultan's bday today and he gives all those awards every year during his birthday)
Salamm
Friday, April 8, 2011
Cute Kids on Telly
Ooh I've got to tell you about this really cute TV series that I've seen a few episodes of.
It's called Faiz Faizah, it tells the story of cute kids living together in an orphanage house. (It's indonesian by the way).
Faiz, who is around 5 years old and his friends in the orphanage met a girl whose name is Faizah, who is also around 4-5 years old. Faizah does not live with them as Faizah comes from a wealthy family and she is an only child. I think the orphanage house and Faizah's house are near to each other so that's why they hang out and play together so much.
It was really cute how Faiz and Faizah met the first time.
"Namaku,, Faizah..Nama kamu apa?"
"Faiz.."
Faiz wanted to know how it feels like to have a mom and a dad. While Faizah wanted to have friends to play with and she also felt lonely as her parents never really spend much time with her as they were very busy with work.
So what did they do? They decided to switch places, and pretend to be the other! And to be honest they pulled the act quite well. They in fact looked about the same but since Faizah has really curly hair, Faiz has got to wear sort of a curly wig over his head which is OMG so cute!! And he managed to fool Faizah's maid into thinking that he was Faizah, while Faizah's parents were still at work.
And the real Faizah, who wanted to be Faiz for a day, had to wear a cap to put all her hair in together, and tada- she did look very boyish with her cap and T-shirt.
And there were hilarious scenes as they switch places. You've got to see them for yourself!
There were also scenes that I found very touching. Before going to bed, Faizah saw that all the other orphanage kids, prayed hard that one day, some kind foster parents will come take them away and give them love, and care for them like their own children.
"Ya Allah, kurniakanlah hambamu, mama dan papa yang akan menjagaku, mengasihiku, Ya Allah.."
And these kids were only around 5-9 years old!! Wooowoo..so touching I wanted to cry..
I guess not every one is as fortunate as myself. Some kids have never ever seen their parents' faces, never had parents who would cuddle them as they drifted off to sleep, never have true love from parents. They live every day imagining how it feels like to be loved by parents.
And people like us who do have parents.. sometimes we take their presence for granted. We forget to thank Allah for giving us this greatest gift: Parents. We forget to show our love and appreciation towards our parents and we disobey them sometimes.
We therefore have to always remember everything they have done for us, since we were born in this world up until today. As Allah mentions in the Quran:
And Allah asks us to be kind and good to our parents..And we can't even say something that can cause them to be hurt, even a word like 'Ah' is impermissible.
May Allah help us to become better children to our parents, and may He bless our parents always.
Salam..
It's called Faiz Faizah, it tells the story of cute kids living together in an orphanage house. (It's indonesian by the way).
Faiz, who is around 5 years old and his friends in the orphanage met a girl whose name is Faizah, who is also around 4-5 years old. Faizah does not live with them as Faizah comes from a wealthy family and she is an only child. I think the orphanage house and Faizah's house are near to each other so that's why they hang out and play together so much.
It was really cute how Faiz and Faizah met the first time.
"Namaku,, Faizah..Nama kamu apa?"
"Faiz.."
Faiz wanted to know how it feels like to have a mom and a dad. While Faizah wanted to have friends to play with and she also felt lonely as her parents never really spend much time with her as they were very busy with work.
So what did they do? They decided to switch places, and pretend to be the other! And to be honest they pulled the act quite well. They in fact looked about the same but since Faizah has really curly hair, Faiz has got to wear sort of a curly wig over his head which is OMG so cute!! And he managed to fool Faizah's maid into thinking that he was Faizah, while Faizah's parents were still at work.
And the real Faizah, who wanted to be Faiz for a day, had to wear a cap to put all her hair in together, and tada- she did look very boyish with her cap and T-shirt.
And there were hilarious scenes as they switch places. You've got to see them for yourself!
There were also scenes that I found very touching. Before going to bed, Faizah saw that all the other orphanage kids, prayed hard that one day, some kind foster parents will come take them away and give them love, and care for them like their own children.
"Ya Allah, kurniakanlah hambamu, mama dan papa yang akan menjagaku, mengasihiku, Ya Allah.."
And these kids were only around 5-9 years old!! Wooowoo..so touching I wanted to cry..
I guess not every one is as fortunate as myself. Some kids have never ever seen their parents' faces, never had parents who would cuddle them as they drifted off to sleep, never have true love from parents. They live every day imagining how it feels like to be loved by parents.
And people like us who do have parents.. sometimes we take their presence for granted. We forget to thank Allah for giving us this greatest gift: Parents. We forget to show our love and appreciation towards our parents and we disobey them sometimes.
We therefore have to always remember everything they have done for us, since we were born in this world up until today. As Allah mentions in the Quran:
We have instructed man concerning his parents. Bearing him caused his mother great debility and the period of his weaning was two years: "Give thanks to Me and to your parents. I am your final destination." (Surah Luqman: 14)
And Allah asks us to be kind and good to our parents..And we can't even say something that can cause them to be hurt, even a word like 'Ah' is impermissible.
We have instructed man to be good to his parents … (Surat al-Ahqaf: 15)
Your Lord has decreed that you should worship none but Him, and that you should show kindness to your parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say "Ugh!" to them out of irritation and do not be harsh with them but speak to them with gentleness and generosity. (Surat al-Isra': 23)
May Allah help us to become better children to our parents, and may He bless our parents always.
Salam..
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Not a bed of roses
My friends would know that I don't cry publicly, but there are usually two things that can make me cry:
1. Very hot spicy food that sends tears flowing like river to my eyes, and
2. A story/novel/show with a sad story-line , with possibly a tragic ending
So, there I was a few days ago, reading the famous novel by Jodi Picoult, "My Sister's Keeper" and I was sobbing and sniffling like mad, crying my eyes out. It was touching, a story of how a family fights as one of the kid has got acute promyelocytic leukemia.
But the sad part is, it ends with the death of one of the kid. Not going to comment more, just in case there is anyone out there who has not read the novel yet.
And yesterday, I was holding back tears as I watched yesterday's episode of Bersamamu on TV3. The show was portraying the life of this 15 year old boy with a mass the size of a coconut on his tummy and he was diagnosed as having 'kanser urat saraf'.. (So that would be a neurofibroma wouldn't it? )
The boy was thin, frail and obviously in much pain. His mother and family stayed close by his side until..until he breathed his last. Yeah, the boy died in the end. (And this is a real life story!!). And the TV3 crew were actually there to capture the moments of his death.
It just struck me again of how fragile life is, really. Of how this life is a series of tests for Allah to see which of His servant is the strong one and deserves to be rewarded with Jannah. Says a verse in the Quran:
Tests can come up in many different ways, some of which can be totally unexpected and may creep up to you in a surprise. Some people are tested with difficulty in family, some in illness, some in work, others in studies, money, and the list goes on. In the Quran, Allah also says:
And He is ALWAYS there for us, to listen to all our cries and whinings. Oh how kind our God is, when as human-beings, we have in many times, wronged ourselves, forget Him, did sins and sometimes did not obey all his commands. But He is still there for us, every minute, every second..always. Isn't it in the Quran that says He is closer to us than our own vein?
1. Very hot spicy food that sends tears flowing like river to my eyes, and
2. A story/novel/show with a sad story-line , with possibly a tragic ending
So, there I was a few days ago, reading the famous novel by Jodi Picoult, "My Sister's Keeper" and I was sobbing and sniffling like mad, crying my eyes out. It was touching, a story of how a family fights as one of the kid has got acute promyelocytic leukemia.
But the sad part is, it ends with the death of one of the kid. Not going to comment more, just in case there is anyone out there who has not read the novel yet.
And yesterday, I was holding back tears as I watched yesterday's episode of Bersamamu on TV3. The show was portraying the life of this 15 year old boy with a mass the size of a coconut on his tummy and he was diagnosed as having 'kanser urat saraf'.. (So that would be a neurofibroma wouldn't it? )
The boy was thin, frail and obviously in much pain. His mother and family stayed close by his side until..until he breathed his last. Yeah, the boy died in the end. (And this is a real life story!!). And the TV3 crew were actually there to capture the moments of his death.
It just struck me again of how fragile life is, really. Of how this life is a series of tests for Allah to see which of His servant is the strong one and deserves to be rewarded with Jannah. Says a verse in the Quran:
We will test you until We know the true fighters among you and those who are steadfast and test what is reported of you. (Qur'an, 47:31)Please let us be the true fighters ya Allah!
Tests can come up in many different ways, some of which can be totally unexpected and may creep up to you in a surprise. Some people are tested with difficulty in family, some in illness, some in work, others in studies, money, and the list goes on. In the Quran, Allah also says:
Do people imagine that they will be left to say, 'We believe,' and will not be tested? We tested those before them so that Allah would know the truthful and would know the liars. (Qur'an, 29:2-3)I once heard a wise man said that each time you are tested, and when you are able to get through the test, Allah will rise your place to a higher level. He will keep you closer to Him, and strengthen your back. All we have to do is to have faith in Him, and know that He will bring us through any bad times, through any difficulties. As He is the Most Powerful, and He knows all the hikmah/wisdom of it all.
And He is ALWAYS there for us, to listen to all our cries and whinings. Oh how kind our God is, when as human-beings, we have in many times, wronged ourselves, forget Him, did sins and sometimes did not obey all his commands. But He is still there for us, every minute, every second..always. Isn't it in the Quran that says He is closer to us than our own vein?
And indeed We have created man, and We know whatever thoughts his inner self develops, and We are closer to him than (his) jugular vein [50: 16]
And this is another verse, on how near is Allah's help to those who are tested.
Or did you suppose that you would enter the Garden without facing the same as those who came before you? Poverty and illness afflicted them and they were shaken to the point that the Messenger and those who believed with him said, 'When is Allah's help coming?' Be assured that Allah's help is very near. (Qur'an, 2:214)So to everyone out there who is striving and facing this life's test: Stay strong, don't give up. Always have Allah in your heart, and always seek Him for help and guidance. Remember that life in this world is only temporary and that the hereafter is the one that matters.
The life of this world is nothing but a game and a diversion. The abode of the hereafter-that is truly Life if they only knew. (Qur'an, 29:64)May Allah keep us strong always, and be steadfast in this path, inshaAllah.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Trust Me I'm (almost) a doctor!
It still seems a bit surreal, really.
But it's true! It's true! I have passed the Medical Finals exams Alhamdulillah.
I was expecting for the worst, I had even practiced how I should feel when I get the results, I had prepared myself mentally for the news, uhh.. just in case.
And I was hiding under my duvet at 3pm on results day, trying to sleep it all off, not wanting to know the news that the result would come out in a matter of minutes.
But that was until Nida came barging through the door. She obviously had checked her results, and seemed to know mine too. "Mai,, I think you passed!!" And then we were jumping up and down, hugging each other, squealing and screaming at the top of our lungs.
Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, this is all Allah's works. It is a miracle really, because I thought the exams were quite difficult and challenging that I thought there was no way I would make it through this time.(Out of 219 ppl, 40 failed this year so that's a fifth of the class ) . But Allah is so very Merciful, He is so very Kind, and He listens to all my prayers, and the prayers of my beloved, and He made my friends and I passed.
If there is one thing I learnt from this whole experience, it is that Usaha+Doa+Tawakal really is the key. Maybe other people will never understand the whole Medic Finals Exam experience (especially in Leicester, where you are meant to prepare for every single module/subject you've learned: Medicine, Surgery and Specialties). But the whole journey was an experience like no other. Quoting a friend, it was a physical, emotional and spiritual journey, and I am just so blessed to go through it with my beloved friends and sisters.
If you want something so badly, of course you would work hard for it, wouldn't you? But I understand now that however much you work, you have to leave it all to Allah, as there is nothing that can happen without His Will. But still you really have to work hard for it, as the effort too is counted by Allah.
And of course, I still can remember the difficult times; when the brain felt overloaded, as if there is no more space to fill any information with. Or the times when I just felt like puking it all out-as it was just getting too much.
But the thing is, you do really have to push yourself. Because by trying hard enough, at least you'll be able to tell yourself that: "At least I've tried. " It is also so very important to exchange words of motivation with your friends to keep each other's spirit high. To remind each other that we are doing all this not really for anything else.. but to please Our Lord who has always been so kind to us.
Have faith in Allah. Know that He holds the knowledge of the sky and the earth, and to Him belongs everything. Believe in Him that He is always there when you call out to Him, and that He loves you so much that He will answer your prayers.
And those are the motivations that one needs to keep on striving: to know that every time you open the book to read a chapter on Haematology for instance, the angels will come down and write those as good deeds. And if the heart is sincere, it will be reported to Allah and perhaps will be counted as deeds to enter Jannah..insyaAllah amin..
So that's Finals done and over with. The graduation day will be in July insyaAllah.
And now with some free time after the exams, I hope to engage myself fully in Islamic works, something that I have come to love and feel responsible for. Because that is one of the reason we all worked so hard for, to one day be excellent doctor-daies, as gifts for the ummah insyaAllah. To bring the ummah back to where it really belongs, to shine again...insyaAllah.
Lastly, my appreciation and thank you to all beloved people who helped me to get through the journey, my batchmates, housemates, my naqibah, sisters all over uk eire, other friends, kakak2, doctor2 etc etc.
Salam~
But it's true! It's true! I have passed the Medical Finals exams Alhamdulillah.
I was expecting for the worst, I had even practiced how I should feel when I get the results, I had prepared myself mentally for the news, uhh.. just in case.
And I was hiding under my duvet at 3pm on results day, trying to sleep it all off, not wanting to know the news that the result would come out in a matter of minutes.
But that was until Nida came barging through the door. She obviously had checked her results, and seemed to know mine too. "Mai,, I think you passed!!" And then we were jumping up and down, hugging each other, squealing and screaming at the top of our lungs.
Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, this is all Allah's works. It is a miracle really, because I thought the exams were quite difficult and challenging that I thought there was no way I would make it through this time.(Out of 219 ppl, 40 failed this year so that's a fifth of the class ) . But Allah is so very Merciful, He is so very Kind, and He listens to all my prayers, and the prayers of my beloved, and He made my friends and I passed.
If there is one thing I learnt from this whole experience, it is that Usaha+Doa+Tawakal really is the key. Maybe other people will never understand the whole Medic Finals Exam experience (especially in Leicester, where you are meant to prepare for every single module/subject you've learned: Medicine, Surgery and Specialties). But the whole journey was an experience like no other. Quoting a friend, it was a physical, emotional and spiritual journey, and I am just so blessed to go through it with my beloved friends and sisters.
If you want something so badly, of course you would work hard for it, wouldn't you? But I understand now that however much you work, you have to leave it all to Allah, as there is nothing that can happen without His Will. But still you really have to work hard for it, as the effort too is counted by Allah.
And of course, I still can remember the difficult times; when the brain felt overloaded, as if there is no more space to fill any information with. Or the times when I just felt like puking it all out-as it was just getting too much.
But the thing is, you do really have to push yourself. Because by trying hard enough, at least you'll be able to tell yourself that: "At least I've tried. " It is also so very important to exchange words of motivation with your friends to keep each other's spirit high. To remind each other that we are doing all this not really for anything else.. but to please Our Lord who has always been so kind to us.
Have faith in Allah. Know that He holds the knowledge of the sky and the earth, and to Him belongs everything. Believe in Him that He is always there when you call out to Him, and that He loves you so much that He will answer your prayers.
And those are the motivations that one needs to keep on striving: to know that every time you open the book to read a chapter on Haematology for instance, the angels will come down and write those as good deeds. And if the heart is sincere, it will be reported to Allah and perhaps will be counted as deeds to enter Jannah..insyaAllah amin..
So that's Finals done and over with. The graduation day will be in July insyaAllah.
And now with some free time after the exams, I hope to engage myself fully in Islamic works, something that I have come to love and feel responsible for. Because that is one of the reason we all worked so hard for, to one day be excellent doctor-daies, as gifts for the ummah insyaAllah. To bring the ummah back to where it really belongs, to shine again...insyaAllah.
Surah Muhammad 7. O you who believe! If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm.
Lastly, my appreciation and thank you to all beloved people who helped me to get through the journey, my batchmates, housemates, my naqibah, sisters all over uk eire, other friends, kakak2, doctor2 etc etc.
Salam~
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Eid Mubarak~!
Slm
Hm. I've just realised that I've actually missed blogging. Was browsing back to old blog entries to find suitable reflective entries to be put into my PDP folder for house job applications. And then realized how lovely it had felt to just pour out my feelings in words and writing whatever comes to the head.
*Sigh.* Let's try to make this consistent again, shall we? But looking at the busy timetable ahead, I don't really know if I'll be able to keep to this promise! OK then I'll have to put in my mutabaa amal to-do-list,so that I'll remember to write an entry a week. Or hm, an entry in 2 weeks, maybe? Hee.
And as I said, I am expecting these coming weeks to be quite hectic. What with quite a heavy block coming my way (Paeds starting next week), and outblocks in 3 weeks time, also with the upcoming application for the job thingy. Oh, and also a very special project on Palestine *hint hint* (this one I'm really looking forward to!), and also the arrival of my brother and his family to UK!! *Can't wait for this one!*
InshaAllah, let's hope I'll be able to handle and multitask and be itqan in everything that I do. Because in the end, these are good deeds that will hopefully bring me closer to Allah inshaAllah..Because all I want is His Redha and for Him to accept them as deeds and points for Jannah.. :)
Anyway, ramadhan is leaving us soon. :( I hope this has been a great ramadhan for everyone (especially myself), and has made us even better 'Abd to Allah the Almighty. May we graduate from this holy month of Ramadhan with flying colours, and be consistent with our amal ibadat even after Ramadhan and through out the whole year inshaAllah...
Salam eid mubarak~!
Take care..salam wbt
Hm. I've just realised that I've actually missed blogging. Was browsing back to old blog entries to find suitable reflective entries to be put into my PDP folder for house job applications. And then realized how lovely it had felt to just pour out my feelings in words and writing whatever comes to the head.
*Sigh.* Let's try to make this consistent again, shall we? But looking at the busy timetable ahead, I don't really know if I'll be able to keep to this promise! OK then I'll have to put in my mutabaa amal to-do-list,so that I'll remember to write an entry a week. Or hm, an entry in 2 weeks, maybe? Hee.
And as I said, I am expecting these coming weeks to be quite hectic. What with quite a heavy block coming my way (Paeds starting next week), and outblocks in 3 weeks time, also with the upcoming application for the job thingy. Oh, and also a very special project on Palestine *hint hint* (this one I'm really looking forward to!), and also the arrival of my brother and his family to UK!! *Can't wait for this one!*
InshaAllah, let's hope I'll be able to handle and multitask and be itqan in everything that I do. Because in the end, these are good deeds that will hopefully bring me closer to Allah inshaAllah..Because all I want is His Redha and for Him to accept them as deeds and points for Jannah.. :)
Anyway, ramadhan is leaving us soon. :( I hope this has been a great ramadhan for everyone (especially myself), and has made us even better 'Abd to Allah the Almighty. May we graduate from this holy month of Ramadhan with flying colours, and be consistent with our amal ibadat even after Ramadhan and through out the whole year inshaAllah...
Salam eid mubarak~!
Take care..salam wbt
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Story of Prophet Yahya (Part 1)
I love this story on the life of Prophet Yahya (John). It reflects his strong love towards his Lord, and he would do anything to please Him. May it be an example for us, especially in this Holy month of Ramadhan, may our love to Allah exceeds any other love that ever exist in this world. Because He loves us too much too :)
Source: Stories of The Prophet (Ibn Kathir)
Prophet Yahya (John)
John's Childhood
John (pbuh) was born a stranger to the world of children who used to amuse themselves, as he was serious all the time. Most children took delight in torturing animals whereas, he was merciful to them. He fed the animals from his food until there was nothing left for him, and he just ate fruit or leaves of trees. John loved reading since childhood. When he grew up, Allah the Exalted called upon him:
"O John! Hold fast to the Scripture (The Torah)." And We gave him wisdom while yet a child.
(Ch 19:12 Quran).
John's Qualities
Allah guided him to read the Book of Jurisprudence closely; thus, he became the wisest and most knowledgeable man of that time. Therefore, Allah the Almighty endowed him with the faculties of passing judgments on people's affairs, interpreting the secrets of religion, guiding people to the right path, and warning them against the wrong one.
John reached maturity. His compassion for his parents, as well as for all people and all creatures, increased greatly. He called people to repent their sins.
There are quite a number of traditions told about John. Ibn Asaker related that one time his parents were looking for him and found him at the Jordan River. When they met him, they wept sorely, seeing his great devotion to Allah, Great and Majestic.
Ibn Wahb said that, according to Malik, grass was the food of John Ibn Zakariyah, and he wept sorely in fear of Allah. A chain of narrators reported that Idris Al Khawlawi said: "Shall I not tell
you he who had the best food? It is John Ibn Zakariyah, who joined the beasts at dinner, fearing to mix with men."
Why John Always Wept
Ibn Mubarak stated that Wahb Ibn Al-Ward narrated that Zakariayah did not see his son for three days. He found him weeping inside a grave which he had dug and in which he resided. "My son, I have been searching for you, and you are dwelling in this grave weeping!" "O father, did you not tell me that between Paradise and Hell is only a span, and it will not be crossed except by tears of weepers?" He said to him: "Weep then, my son." Then they wept together.
Other narrations say that John (pbuh) said: "The dwellers of Paradise are sleepless out of the sweetness of Allah's bounty; that is why the faithful must be sleepless because of Allah's love in their hearts. How far between the two luxuries, how far between them?"
They say John wept so much that tears marked his cheeks.
Part 2: coming soon
Source: Stories of The Prophet (Ibn Kathir)
Prophet Yahya (John)
John's Childhood
John (pbuh) was born a stranger to the world of children who used to amuse themselves, as he was serious all the time. Most children took delight in torturing animals whereas, he was merciful to them. He fed the animals from his food until there was nothing left for him, and he just ate fruit or leaves of trees. John loved reading since childhood. When he grew up, Allah the Exalted called upon him:
"O John! Hold fast to the Scripture (The Torah)." And We gave him wisdom while yet a child.
(Ch 19:12 Quran).
John's Qualities
Allah guided him to read the Book of Jurisprudence closely; thus, he became the wisest and most knowledgeable man of that time. Therefore, Allah the Almighty endowed him with the faculties of passing judgments on people's affairs, interpreting the secrets of religion, guiding people to the right path, and warning them against the wrong one.
John reached maturity. His compassion for his parents, as well as for all people and all creatures, increased greatly. He called people to repent their sins.
There are quite a number of traditions told about John. Ibn Asaker related that one time his parents were looking for him and found him at the Jordan River. When they met him, they wept sorely, seeing his great devotion to Allah, Great and Majestic.
Ibn Wahb said that, according to Malik, grass was the food of John Ibn Zakariyah, and he wept sorely in fear of Allah. A chain of narrators reported that Idris Al Khawlawi said: "Shall I not tell
you he who had the best food? It is John Ibn Zakariyah, who joined the beasts at dinner, fearing to mix with men."
Why John Always Wept
Ibn Mubarak stated that Wahb Ibn Al-Ward narrated that Zakariayah did not see his son for three days. He found him weeping inside a grave which he had dug and in which he resided. "My son, I have been searching for you, and you are dwelling in this grave weeping!" "O father, did you not tell me that between Paradise and Hell is only a span, and it will not be crossed except by tears of weepers?" He said to him: "Weep then, my son." Then they wept together.
Other narrations say that John (pbuh) said: "The dwellers of Paradise are sleepless out of the sweetness of Allah's bounty; that is why the faithful must be sleepless because of Allah's love in their hearts. How far between the two luxuries, how far between them?"
They say John wept so much that tears marked his cheeks.
Part 2: coming soon
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Neuro- i love it!
So now, it's finally the last few days of Neuro and Elderly Care medicine.
And like always, my clinical partner and I have been sent away again (for what, the fourth time? Not fair! ) and this time to Northampton General Hospital. Nothing much to complain really in here, I actually do like this hospital and the accomodation, what with the duvet provided and the ensuite accomodation, this one is the best accomodation so far!
Neurology was definitely fun, I was actually thinking a few weeks ago that I've found my true call in Medicine. OK, maybe that was NOT the first time I've said that, I think I've been thinking like that every time I've finished a rotation. Like for example, when we were doing Cardio, I could just imagine myself being that top consultant Cardiologist, ordering this and that tests for my Cardio patients. Oh, and doing cool procedures too like TAVI (keyhole valve replacement, for those who doesn't have a clue). And when I was doing the Gastro Rotation, I was thinking, that would be my place one day too.
Haha.
But this one is more for real I guess. I love reading Neuro, as I found it just truly amazing. I really, really do. This is where we learn more about the brain and its function. The higher mental functioning of the brain, the capacity of human to think and rationalise, and the network of nerves connecting the upper part of the human body to the rest of our system are just amazing. Imagine that you are able to read this, without being aware of the millions of tiny little cells called neurons working hard to make sure you can read word by word. And how your hands are able to move when the brain says move, even when you yourself do not even realise that it's the brain that was giving the order.
I could go on and on about all these, but maybe there would not be enough space in here to write. All of these abilities, to see different colours, to hear sounds from different amplitudes and tones, to talk (or sing!) in different pitches- they all need the neurons from the brain to be working fine. All of that and more.
So, isn't it time yet for us to think and reflect?
Of how Great the Creator is for creating us to the finest details. And who have perfection us making us who we are today. To give us so much nikmat that there is no way in the world that we are able to count them... as there are just too many of them!
Yet, we take these blessings for granted, and for some of us, it had never once came across the mind that it is the Mercy of Allah that has allowed us to have all these.
Yet, there are people out there who denies Him as the One true God and instead, take others as Ilah.
How very ungrateful these people are. And how very sorry they will be one day when the Day of Resurrection comes.
Just some reflections for the soul today....Hmm, just love how medicine never failed to remind me of the Greatness of Allah. There are indeed many reminders or tazkirah in this job, popping up here and there, if we are actually aware of it. Hopefully for the following more years to come, it will help me become closer to God, and be His excellent ' Abd insyaAllah.
Just pray to Allah to give me the strength to carry on, as you know.. how very interesting and amazing medicine is, it definitely is very challenging. One more year to go, just one more. Pray that I'll perservere!
And like always, my clinical partner and I have been sent away again (for what, the fourth time? Not fair! ) and this time to Northampton General Hospital. Nothing much to complain really in here, I actually do like this hospital and the accomodation, what with the duvet provided and the ensuite accomodation, this one is the best accomodation so far!
Neurology was definitely fun, I was actually thinking a few weeks ago that I've found my true call in Medicine. OK, maybe that was NOT the first time I've said that, I think I've been thinking like that every time I've finished a rotation. Like for example, when we were doing Cardio, I could just imagine myself being that top consultant Cardiologist, ordering this and that tests for my Cardio patients. Oh, and doing cool procedures too like TAVI (keyhole valve replacement, for those who doesn't have a clue). And when I was doing the Gastro Rotation, I was thinking, that would be my place one day too.
Haha.
But this one is more for real I guess. I love reading Neuro, as I found it just truly amazing. I really, really do. This is where we learn more about the brain and its function. The higher mental functioning of the brain, the capacity of human to think and rationalise, and the network of nerves connecting the upper part of the human body to the rest of our system are just amazing. Imagine that you are able to read this, without being aware of the millions of tiny little cells called neurons working hard to make sure you can read word by word. And how your hands are able to move when the brain says move, even when you yourself do not even realise that it's the brain that was giving the order.
I could go on and on about all these, but maybe there would not be enough space in here to write. All of these abilities, to see different colours, to hear sounds from different amplitudes and tones, to talk (or sing!) in different pitches- they all need the neurons from the brain to be working fine. All of that and more.
So, isn't it time yet for us to think and reflect?
Of how Great the Creator is for creating us to the finest details. And who have perfection us making us who we are today. To give us so much nikmat that there is no way in the world that we are able to count them... as there are just too many of them!
Yet, we take these blessings for granted, and for some of us, it had never once came across the mind that it is the Mercy of Allah that has allowed us to have all these.
Yet, there are people out there who denies Him as the One true God and instead, take others as Ilah.
How very ungrateful these people are. And how very sorry they will be one day when the Day of Resurrection comes.
Just some reflections for the soul today....Hmm, just love how medicine never failed to remind me of the Greatness of Allah. There are indeed many reminders or tazkirah in this job, popping up here and there, if we are actually aware of it. Hopefully for the following more years to come, it will help me become closer to God, and be His excellent ' Abd insyaAllah.
Just pray to Allah to give me the strength to carry on, as you know.. how very interesting and amazing medicine is, it definitely is very challenging. One more year to go, just one more. Pray that I'll perservere!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Open our eyes
Sometimes, for reasons I don't know myself, I would put my fingers around the neck to feel the carotid pulse, and check if I'm still alive. And at other times, I would try to feel the apex beat (in layterm it is the area where your heart beats strongest on the left side of the chest) to see if my heart is still thumping (and of course it does). Err..Ok probably this is the influence of too much CardioRespi block these past few weeks ;p
Well, try it. When I usually do it, I would then feel a sense of gratefulness to be alive. Because sometimes we take our living in this world for granted, and we forgot to thank Allah for giving us this great nikmat. To still be able to inhale and exhale, to still be able to look around and see the different colours of the world, to still be able to listen to our friends' chattering away and so much more.
But some people are not so fortunate. Not as lucky as us. They wake up to the sound of explosives, of bombs flying away, they may even wake up realizing that their mom/dad is not there anymore by their side. And we're talking small children here, babies even.
That's what happened, and is happening, and will still continue to happen in Palestine at the moment. The civilians are wounded, physically and emotionally and are faced with cruelty and atrocities and other unbelievable inhumane acts.
I went to a talk by Ismail Patel recently (he's the founder of Friends of Al Aqsa, and based in Leicester) and according to him 85% of Palestinians are living in poverty. Hundreds of them are unable to get the proper health service and help and is in danger of dying, and supply of important medications are not enough for these people.
And imagine, when the war hit Palestine, the phosphorus bomb was used, and the doctors didn't know how to treat the wounded ones at first, as never had they encountered those kind of wounds before. And when the Power Plant was destroyed too, schools were not able to function, hospitals with its operating theatres, incubators for babies (just to name a few) can't function too.
This is just a message to everyone- do not ever forget the Palestinians and their immense sufferings- in our prayers, and in everything that we do. They are there fighting in this war against the taghut, it's their jihad, and it is actually ours too. For we are brothers and sisters; their sufferings are ours too.
Let us make people aware of the situation in Palestine/Gaza. Open our eyes and hearts and spread the words~
Well, try it. When I usually do it, I would then feel a sense of gratefulness to be alive. Because sometimes we take our living in this world for granted, and we forgot to thank Allah for giving us this great nikmat. To still be able to inhale and exhale, to still be able to look around and see the different colours of the world, to still be able to listen to our friends' chattering away and so much more.
But some people are not so fortunate. Not as lucky as us. They wake up to the sound of explosives, of bombs flying away, they may even wake up realizing that their mom/dad is not there anymore by their side. And we're talking small children here, babies even.
That's what happened, and is happening, and will still continue to happen in Palestine at the moment. The civilians are wounded, physically and emotionally and are faced with cruelty and atrocities and other unbelievable inhumane acts.
I went to a talk by Ismail Patel recently (he's the founder of Friends of Al Aqsa, and based in Leicester) and according to him 85% of Palestinians are living in poverty. Hundreds of them are unable to get the proper health service and help and is in danger of dying, and supply of important medications are not enough for these people.
And imagine, when the war hit Palestine, the phosphorus bomb was used, and the doctors didn't know how to treat the wounded ones at first, as never had they encountered those kind of wounds before. And when the Power Plant was destroyed too, schools were not able to function, hospitals with its operating theatres, incubators for babies (just to name a few) can't function too.
This is just a message to everyone- do not ever forget the Palestinians and their immense sufferings- in our prayers, and in everything that we do. They are there fighting in this war against the taghut, it's their jihad, and it is actually ours too. For we are brothers and sisters; their sufferings are ours too.
Let us make people aware of the situation in Palestine/Gaza. Open our eyes and hearts and spread the words~
The Day I first Saw Someone Died in Front Of my Eyes. Part 1
This is just something that I've jotted down a few months ago while I was in A & E in Burton Hospital. Found it, and thought of sharing.
The Day I first Saw Someone Died in Front Of my Eyes.
As I was coming to the A&E department that night, I was not really sure of what to expect, and what I was going to experience tonight. Being in the 3rd block in the Jr Rotation, we have not been actually exposed to A & E before, and probably not until next year in Senior Rotation. ( I was just being a curious cat that night and wanted to know what it's like in A & E). Oh, well, probably there'll be some interesting acute abdomen or musculoskeletal cases tonight that I can see, I thought.
"There's a resuscitation going on in there," a doctor soon told me.
Oh, wow, this would be something interesting, I thought.
"Can I go and see?" Probably a very stupid question from a (then) timid medical student. "Of course you can." Yeay!
I've not seen a resuscitation before, well, maybe I have, but those that are being done on a manequin, a lifeless body who cannot feel the pain- not the real thing. And, so the scene that greeted me as I entered the door was definitely new, and in a way, unexpected.
-to be continued-
The Day I first Saw Someone Died in Front Of my Eyes.
As I was coming to the A&E department that night, I was not really sure of what to expect, and what I was going to experience tonight. Being in the 3rd block in the Jr Rotation, we have not been actually exposed to A & E before, and probably not until next year in Senior Rotation. ( I was just being a curious cat that night and wanted to know what it's like in A & E). Oh, well, probably there'll be some interesting acute abdomen or musculoskeletal cases tonight that I can see, I thought.
"There's a resuscitation going on in there," a doctor soon told me.
Oh, wow, this would be something interesting, I thought.
"Can I go and see?" Probably a very stupid question from a (then) timid medical student. "Of course you can." Yeay!
I've not seen a resuscitation before, well, maybe I have, but those that are being done on a manequin, a lifeless body who cannot feel the pain- not the real thing. And, so the scene that greeted me as I entered the door was definitely new, and in a way, unexpected.
-to be continued-
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
End of IPE
I was telling myself a few weeks ago, that I would be actively writing in the blog (again for the upteenth time!) after the exams (IPE) has finished. So, yes, hopefully this new term resolution will stay with me. Well, we'll see.
Alhamdulillah, now I'm a free girl!! IPE has just finished...although I can't say I'm too happy about it. Thought I could have done better. It was quite tough to be honest, with lots of vague questions (or maybe it's just me huhu.) The OSCE especially was totally out of my head,hmm.. the medic school sure knows how to grill and drill us all! And I'm not sure if I'm going to even pass!
I could go on and on about the exams just now, but I don't think I will. It's not good for the future generation,,err I mean, the adik2 who will be sitting for their exams next year. Or, maybe I could do, you know, just to make sure everyone gets prepared mentally even from the beginning.
Oh well, whatever happens, whatever the results may be, as long as I know that I've put my best effort preparing for it, then I'm OK. Leave everything else in Allah's hands, He knows what is best for me, insyaAllah.. So, for now, keep on praying...Tawakal to Allah..
Anyway, a few days before the exams, an ukhti dearest to the heart, surprised us all with a very personalised Good Luck Card, one for each of us, and posted to our homes! It was definitely a pleasant surprise, she had our photos printed in front of the card, and her own (plus her 2 kids) photo inside with some beautiful and inspiring wishes/reminders. Thank u kak!I mean, all the extra effort, to find the words and photos, to print it off in some photo shop etc etc. It's just amazing how thoughtful some people are.
And it's great to have other friends and sisters who were very supportive in this exam period. (Thank u for all the good luck wishes, and oh yeah, to some ppl, thanks for cooking food for us! hehe). I am soooo blessed to be around these great people here in Leicester Alhamdulillah.
OK, enough about the exam.
On a more cheerful note, I'm having days off for the next 5 days. Heehee.. Haven't actually planned anything in particular, but probably would spend it catching up on life (or work! ;p) that I've missed when I was so busy preparing for the exams.
And next week, I need to go outblock again. To Northampton this time round for Elderly Care Block. Heard of many good things about it, so hopefully it will be good. Although can't say that I'm too happy about going out of Leicester again, for the 4th time.
That's all for today..take care!
Alhamdulillah, now I'm a free girl!! IPE has just finished...although I can't say I'm too happy about it. Thought I could have done better. It was quite tough to be honest, with lots of vague questions (or maybe it's just me huhu.) The OSCE especially was totally out of my head,hmm.. the medic school sure knows how to grill and drill us all! And I'm not sure if I'm going to even pass!
I could go on and on about the exams just now, but I don't think I will. It's not good for the future generation,,err I mean, the adik2 who will be sitting for their exams next year. Or, maybe I could do, you know, just to make sure everyone gets prepared mentally even from the beginning.
Oh well, whatever happens, whatever the results may be, as long as I know that I've put my best effort preparing for it, then I'm OK. Leave everything else in Allah's hands, He knows what is best for me, insyaAllah.. So, for now, keep on praying...Tawakal to Allah..
Anyway, a few days before the exams, an ukhti dearest to the heart, surprised us all with a very personalised Good Luck Card, one for each of us, and posted to our homes! It was definitely a pleasant surprise, she had our photos printed in front of the card, and her own (plus her 2 kids) photo inside with some beautiful and inspiring wishes/reminders. Thank u kak!I mean, all the extra effort, to find the words and photos, to print it off in some photo shop etc etc. It's just amazing how thoughtful some people are.
And it's great to have other friends and sisters who were very supportive in this exam period. (Thank u for all the good luck wishes, and oh yeah, to some ppl, thanks for cooking food for us! hehe). I am soooo blessed to be around these great people here in Leicester Alhamdulillah.
OK, enough about the exam.
On a more cheerful note, I'm having days off for the next 5 days. Heehee.. Haven't actually planned anything in particular, but probably would spend it catching up on life (or work! ;p) that I've missed when I was so busy preparing for the exams.
And next week, I need to go outblock again. To Northampton this time round for Elderly Care Block. Heard of many good things about it, so hopefully it will be good. Although can't say that I'm too happy about going out of Leicester again, for the 4th time.
That's all for today..take care!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
When it snows....
It is indeed most pleasant when it starts to snow. When you try to grasp the snowflakes with your hands, and then realize that they will just melt away as soon as they reach your hand. Or when you try to open your mouth wide, hoping to taste these beautiful snowflakes, and pretending to munch on them as if they are some sort of 'ais kacang' that you miss from home so much.
When it snows, it just lifts the spirit up; If you're feeling gloomy, all of a sudden you feel like you want to just smile and be cheerful all day long :-)
Sometimes you feel like dancing in the snow, and make snow angels, and just have fun in the snow..!
Alhamdulillah, isn't Allah Great? He has bestowed upon us many blessings and many 'nikmat's indeed. He has shown us how beautiful the earth can be when flakes of tiny drops of snow begin to fall from the sky, showering us as we walk on the path. He has made our spirits lift up, in delight just by looking at this magnificent view. Surely, there must be something to learn and gain from all of His creation, including the snow?
Let's look at our book of guidance, the Quran :
Everything is present in the world for a purpose, even the snow. It may well be for us to appreciate His creation even more, so that we will be closer to Him. Being a Muslim, even the littl-est, tiniest thing that we observe, especially from the nature around us, should bring us back to Allah, our Creator, the Creator of the heavens and the earth.
It should remind us about His greatness, His Mercy upon us, that He has created everything for US so perfectly. Yes, everything- the sun, the flowers, the cute pets we have, the oxygen, the list goes on (too many to list down-in fact, it is IMPOSSIBLE to list all the things that He has given us!)-they are all there designed specifically for us, whom He loves so so much.
He even decorated the sky with stars for us to enjoy looking at it!
Let us take some time, to reflect and think, have we reciprocate our love to our Creator? Have we found the time in between our busy lives to be thankful to Him for all the things He has given us? Have we showed signs of appreciation by bowing our heads and prostrating to Him, alone, in the middle of the night, when everyone else is fast asleep?
It is for us to think and now, to act accordingly, insyaAllah. With the new year of Islam (Maal Hijrah), let us make our new year resolutions to become a better Muslim, a better 'Abd to Him, insyaAllah. And May He grant us the strength to be istiqamah in this path insyaAllah..
When it snows, it just lifts the spirit up; If you're feeling gloomy, all of a sudden you feel like you want to just smile and be cheerful all day long :-)
Sometimes you feel like dancing in the snow, and make snow angels, and just have fun in the snow..!
Alhamdulillah, isn't Allah Great? He has bestowed upon us many blessings and many 'nikmat's indeed. He has shown us how beautiful the earth can be when flakes of tiny drops of snow begin to fall from the sky, showering us as we walk on the path. He has made our spirits lift up, in delight just by looking at this magnificent view. Surely, there must be something to learn and gain from all of His creation, including the snow?
Let's look at our book of guidance, the Quran :
"We have not created the heavens and the earth and all that is between them as a play and game for Us. "[Quran 21:16]
Everything is present in the world for a purpose, even the snow. It may well be for us to appreciate His creation even more, so that we will be closer to Him. Being a Muslim, even the littl-est, tiniest thing that we observe, especially from the nature around us, should bring us back to Allah, our Creator, the Creator of the heavens and the earth.
It should remind us about His greatness, His Mercy upon us, that He has created everything for US so perfectly. Yes, everything- the sun, the flowers, the cute pets we have, the oxygen, the list goes on (too many to list down-in fact, it is IMPOSSIBLE to list all the things that He has given us!)-they are all there designed specifically for us, whom He loves so so much.
"It is He Who hath created for you all things that are on earth; Moreover His design comprehended the heavens, for He gave order and perfection to the seven firmaments; and of all things He hath perfect knowledge." [Surah Baqarah 2:29]
He even decorated the sky with stars for us to enjoy looking at it!
"And We have, indeed, made mansions of stars in the heaven and have adorned it for beholders." : [Al-Hijr:16]
Let us take some time, to reflect and think, have we reciprocate our love to our Creator? Have we found the time in between our busy lives to be thankful to Him for all the things He has given us? Have we showed signs of appreciation by bowing our heads and prostrating to Him, alone, in the middle of the night, when everyone else is fast asleep?
It is for us to think and now, to act accordingly, insyaAllah. With the new year of Islam (Maal Hijrah), let us make our new year resolutions to become a better Muslim, a better 'Abd to Him, insyaAllah. And May He grant us the strength to be istiqamah in this path insyaAllah..
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Thinking 'bout You
Special dedication to the most special person on earth :)
For lighting the way,
And for guiding us to the right path.
When I hold your hand,
I could fly a zillion miles with you.
When I see your grace,
I can see you're God's words come true.
Every little bird above the haze,
And fish beneath the waves,
Knows about you...
Wouldn't they do.
When I see your eyes,
I can see rainbows in the sky.
Being with you,
All who parted reunite.
Every little pearl drop in the clouds,
And stones beneath the ground,
Are waiting for you...
Wouldn't they do.
Whatever you say
Lightens up the burden of the day.
Whatever you do
Makes us ever want to follow you.
Whatever they say,
Whatever they do,
I'll always love you.
Every burning comet that zooms,
And angels too,
Think about you...
Wouldn't they do.
Thinkin' bout you,
I could climb a mountain in the dark.
Listenin' to you,
Flowers dance in the park.
Whatever they say,
Whatever they do,
We'll always love you.
The words that you say,
Lightens up the burdens of the day.
Whatever you do,
Makes us want to follow you.
Whatever they say,
Whatever they do,
I'll always love you.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Some thoughts, after a long silence
I have again, left this blog dusty.
In which case, I am truly sorry. To anyone who's reading this, and also to myself, for not being able to capture the great and not-so-great moments of my life in this blog. There has been many ups (and some minor downs) in life lately, many things to be learnt from, pointers and constant reminders, in which I am very thankful for.Thank you Allah for the never ending nikmat, for granting me this life. Alhamdulillah
It is almost the end of 2009. Looking back over the years, it seems like only yesterday the year was starting. A year ago, I was this third year medical student struggling to pass the Phase 1 exam, the most horrifying exams ever (well, after finals I suppose). And since then, 1 year has passed and believe it or not, I'm a grown person now [or at least I hope!].
Great events happening in this year are all good memories for me.Being a clinical medical student is an exciting journey indeed, it opened up my eyes to the real world and the real 'thing'. The patients here are very lovely, especially the elderly people. They just love to talk to medical students, knowing that we need to learn to be able to do well. Even here, in Boston, many of the elderly ladies patients whom I've talked to, just love to give me big hugs! hehehe [and one of them thought I was 15 y/o! ;p]
At times, when I look at all these lovely souls, who have been so kind, I can't help but hope that they will one day find the true meaning of life, and find the light of Islam. Because only with Islam, will one be able to find happiness now, and ever after. Only by submitting yourself to the One God, and trying your best to be his Abd, will one be saved from the torment in the afterlife.
And when we know why we are here in this world, only then will we able to manouvre our life better, to seek Allah's redha in everything that we do, so that we won't be led astray.
Insha Allah...
For now, let's show the best example of a Muslim to the people who might not have yet found Islam. Let's show them how beautiful is Islam. Let's be the ambassadors of Islam, by showing them the best example, as has been shown by our great prophet, Muhammad saw. Let's follow his akhlak, and spread Allah's words, and who knows, some hearts may be opened up to Islam by Allah's will...
Take care and have a good week :)
In which case, I am truly sorry. To anyone who's reading this, and also to myself, for not being able to capture the great and not-so-great moments of my life in this blog. There has been many ups (and some minor downs) in life lately, many things to be learnt from, pointers and constant reminders, in which I am very thankful for.Thank you Allah for the never ending nikmat, for granting me this life. Alhamdulillah
It is almost the end of 2009. Looking back over the years, it seems like only yesterday the year was starting. A year ago, I was this third year medical student struggling to pass the Phase 1 exam, the most horrifying exams ever (well, after finals I suppose). And since then, 1 year has passed and believe it or not, I'm a grown person now [or at least I hope!].
Great events happening in this year are all good memories for me.Being a clinical medical student is an exciting journey indeed, it opened up my eyes to the real world and the real 'thing'. The patients here are very lovely, especially the elderly people. They just love to talk to medical students, knowing that we need to learn to be able to do well. Even here, in Boston, many of the elderly ladies patients whom I've talked to, just love to give me big hugs! hehehe [and one of them thought I was 15 y/o! ;p]
At times, when I look at all these lovely souls, who have been so kind, I can't help but hope that they will one day find the true meaning of life, and find the light of Islam. Because only with Islam, will one be able to find happiness now, and ever after. Only by submitting yourself to the One God, and trying your best to be his Abd, will one be saved from the torment in the afterlife.
And when we know why we are here in this world, only then will we able to manouvre our life better, to seek Allah's redha in everything that we do, so that we won't be led astray.
Insha Allah...
For now, let's show the best example of a Muslim to the people who might not have yet found Islam. Let's show them how beautiful is Islam. Let's be the ambassadors of Islam, by showing them the best example, as has been shown by our great prophet, Muhammad saw. Let's follow his akhlak, and spread Allah's words, and who knows, some hearts may be opened up to Islam by Allah's will...
Take care and have a good week :)
Thursday, May 28, 2009
My psychiatric patients
Being in the psychiatry block for the last 6 weeks has indeed open my eyes.
I've seen patients who have attempted suicide; other patients who could hear unusual voices and see unusual things; a cute,elderly patient who were emotionally abused by their own family and started to have delusional ideas that she was going to be sent to prison; even a Polish guy who was in delirium due to alcohol withdrawal and started causing trouble in the neighbourhood. Oh, and a guy with Asperger's syndrome, who is currently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia-- his whole life story could do a novel if I were to write them myself!
This has all made me wonder and reflect back on the meaning of life. What do these people see in their life? Take one example, the man who attempted suicide but failed, how easy was it for him to make the decision that he wanted to end his life? What about his family and loved ones, did they come across his mind when he decided to do that? Did he not know that his soul and his body is a gift from god, an 'amanah', a responsibility that he was supposed to take very good care of, and that one day he will be questioned about this in the afterlife?
I guess not. I guess these things didn't even cross his mind at that moment. The only thing he ever wanted to do at that time was to get away, to run away from his problems. To be free from any debts, any issues that were surrounding him, to try to find a way out. That is, how a person without any faith in God would think like.
We ourselves sometimes take for granted that we were given life as Muslims, who have strong faith and iman. Faith and Islam; they are what guide us, they are the tool we weigh our decisions with, and they are the light that shines our life and bring us to the right path.
With faith in our hearts, there is no way we will ever be making any stupid decisions (sorry for the language), like attempting suicide or even any deliberate self harm. Life and death is not our decision to make. Our body,our lives and our souls are so so so precious, and it is not even ours in the first place. We are Allah's creation, and we belong to him. This soul, this body is not my own, I am only borrowing it from God, and one day, when the time comes, I will need to return it to God. That is what I believe.
I hope that one day, all of the patients I have seen will be granted with His light and His hidayah, so that they too can see life in a different perspective. May Allah grant all of us His mercy always, and guide us to the right path, towards Him, insyaAllah...
p/s: thank u everyone for the birthday wishes by the way ;)
I've seen patients who have attempted suicide; other patients who could hear unusual voices and see unusual things; a cute,elderly patient who were emotionally abused by their own family and started to have delusional ideas that she was going to be sent to prison; even a Polish guy who was in delirium due to alcohol withdrawal and started causing trouble in the neighbourhood. Oh, and a guy with Asperger's syndrome, who is currently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia-- his whole life story could do a novel if I were to write them myself!
This has all made me wonder and reflect back on the meaning of life. What do these people see in their life? Take one example, the man who attempted suicide but failed, how easy was it for him to make the decision that he wanted to end his life? What about his family and loved ones, did they come across his mind when he decided to do that? Did he not know that his soul and his body is a gift from god, an 'amanah', a responsibility that he was supposed to take very good care of, and that one day he will be questioned about this in the afterlife?
I guess not. I guess these things didn't even cross his mind at that moment. The only thing he ever wanted to do at that time was to get away, to run away from his problems. To be free from any debts, any issues that were surrounding him, to try to find a way out. That is, how a person without any faith in God would think like.
We ourselves sometimes take for granted that we were given life as Muslims, who have strong faith and iman. Faith and Islam; they are what guide us, they are the tool we weigh our decisions with, and they are the light that shines our life and bring us to the right path.
With faith in our hearts, there is no way we will ever be making any stupid decisions (sorry for the language), like attempting suicide or even any deliberate self harm. Life and death is not our decision to make. Our body,our lives and our souls are so so so precious, and it is not even ours in the first place. We are Allah's creation, and we belong to him. This soul, this body is not my own, I am only borrowing it from God, and one day, when the time comes, I will need to return it to God. That is what I believe.
I hope that one day, all of the patients I have seen will be granted with His light and His hidayah, so that they too can see life in a different perspective. May Allah grant all of us His mercy always, and guide us to the right path, towards Him, insyaAllah...
p/s: thank u everyone for the birthday wishes by the way ;)
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